past and present
by nightButterfliesReicheru
Summary: The past leads to the present, the present to the future. Sometimes the past is broken and the future will come with pain


justmefornow here, this is the las vegas part! enjoy!

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Why did I go to Las Vegas in the first place? I mean, I know why I got away – I had to have a little break – but why Las Vegas? It's not like I want to gamble. And I don't know anyone here. So, why did I choose Vegas? There are 50 states and even more cities, but somehow I got stuck in that one. The city of sin, with all the casinos and hotels.

Maybe I wanted to see a different city from where I grew up. New York is a little dark. Not that I'm complaining about that, no, I like dark. But my mother was there too. And maybe that was why I ran away. Every year I would come home in summer break and every year she acted like I had never left. She didn't even notice I started to live more at night, but who does? A lot of students rather go out than learn, so it isn't that strange to sleep during the day. But she refused to notice I left, the many times that I did. Hello mom, you can't live in New York when you're studying at Harvard! For as far as I know, she didn't even know I was studying! She thought I always would stay her little 10 year old girl who ran away from home because she wanted to see the world. That's another thing she can't see. I didn't run away because I wanted to travel, no, I ran away from home because there was no home. I am an only child; I never knew my father and she worked 2 jobs to support me. She just made enough money to send me to school. I loved school. For a big part because I loved to learn new things. And I took all the extra classes and after school things there were. Of course, that was because I didn't wanted to go home. I hated to go home to an empty house, there was nothing to do. We didn't have a TV, a computer or any of that stuff, because we had no money. Hell, I didn't even know what a computer was before I got to school, let go how to work on it. But I managed to learn.

But, back to the question. I don't know why I ended up in Las Vegas, but one day, I just had enough of everything. I sold my apartment, packed all the stuff I thought I needed most, collected all my money and boarded the first plane I could afford. For a while I thought of boarding one to San Francisco, to go and visit a girl I knew from Harvard, but I didn't knew her address or phone number so I just got to the airport to decide it there. I don't know why I walked to the board with all the flights, I don't know why the flight to Las Vegas jumped into my mind, but I took it. Maybe I had calculated the time I would need to check in and took the destination that I could check in to and do all the stuff I needed, but still left as soon as possible.

It wasn't until I was in Vegas, I remembered I didn't have a place to stay, let go a place to work. But then, at 20 years old, standing alone at an airport, I didn't care. I just walked my way to the strip and got into the first casino I saw. And I won. I always was a lucky person. Sure, I didn't won a prize so big I could buy a house and live without working for the rest of my life, but it was just enough to buy a small apartment and food for at least a month. I just had to find a job.

And sure enough, I found one, but it was boring. Why does a girl who studied at Harvard work at a place you don't need to study for? Why does a girl who graduated in forensics have to do work like serving plates? And why did I still do this? I could get another job, if I just had proof I studied. But I changed my name to Sandy. A stupid name for a stupid girl. You know what my name was before? Amy. That means 'loved one'. But I wasn't loved, I was a burden to my mother, a nerd to anyone at school and a loner to everyone with who I studied. Except to that other girl. She was lonely too. And so we became friends. She had a tragic past that she didn't want to talk about. All I knew was that she lived in foster homes until she got to Harvard with a scholarship, like me. It was good to have a friend. But one day she left to San Francisco with a lame excuse about some forensic conference and that she would come back when it was over. She never came back, and I stayed lonely. I think that added something to why I left too.

I had a ritual of going to the same casino once a week on Sundays. Gamble for a few minutes, drink something, dance on stage because it was open mike night, drink some more and go home to sleep for a few hours before work. And, after a while, I noticed someone was watching me every time I was there. And sure enough, when I left early, the woman came after me, asked me if I wanted a job. Of course I was curious, and I didn't think the job could be more boring than the thing I did now, so I made an appointment.

The first time I got to that place, I was shocked. But deep inside I liked it. It was all about being in control, something I wasn't able to do. I quit my job and started working at the place.

A few years passed by and I still worked at the place. I had told Heather, the woman who hired me, my real name. I felt loved again. And one time, I got the shock of my life when a man walked in. I was taking a break from work, like every day at the same time, when I heard Heather talk to someone. After a while, I knew he worked with the crime lab, and I stayed, because I wanted to know who he was. I had sent letters to the crime lab a lot of times, because I wanted to work there, but I never got hired. I got out of my thoughts by hearing chairs rumble and quickly hid behind a pillar. I wouldn't get caught listening to someone else's conversation and especially not Heather's conversations. Then he walked outside and I recognised him immediately. The girl who was my only friend, Sara, had sent me a picture of him, because she had fallen in love with him. But at the time I didn't believe that and just thought it was another lame excuse for leaving. He had been a speaker on the conference, I had noticed that form the background of the picture, and I couldn't believe she would fall in love with a man twice her age. But there he was and I couldn't help but standing nailed to the spot.

Of course, Heather chose that moment to notice me and asked me why I was there. I realized I was busted, because we weren't allowed downstairs until the day ended and we could go home. I rambled some lame excuses and told myself I shouldn't think Sara was there, while still looking at the man. When I said Sara's name, his eyes lit up and he wanted to take me with him. Of course, Heather didn't like that. They got into an argument that ended with me going with the man, Gil Grissom, because otherwise he would find some reason to arrest me and she would get negative publicity.

I went with him, getting into the passenger seat of the car. I didn't get it, when Heather had said my name, the man started staring at me and when I said Sara's name, he wanted to take me to the crime lab? It had refused me a lot of times, why was I welcome there all of a sudden? At that moment the sun shined on my side of the car. I sat back and tried to put something between me and the sun. I never liked sun, the light was too bright. You could see everyone in the sun, but everyone could see you too. I didn't like being seen, I was afraid that people could see my past. And the past wasn't to be seen.

After a while, we arrived at the crime lab. The receptionist looked at me with anger and then at the man in shock, because he took me with him, right to the place the work was done. He took me to what I thought was his office, told me to stay and left. I looked around. The office was filled with creepy things in glass jars. And when I looked better, I saw there was a tarantula in one of the aquariums. I could have looked around more, if I didn't hear a scream behind me.

I turned around and saw Sara standing in the doorway. I let out a scream too and we rushed to each other, like we were long lost friends who saw each other for the first time in years. Maybe we did that because we **were** long lost friends. After a minute of screaming to each other that we had missed the other and that we had changed, she turned to Gil and hugged him. And before I knew it, they were kissing. When they hadn't stopped after a few minutes and things were getting more passionate, I made sure they knew I was still there. He broke the kiss and dropped down on one knee to propose to her. I didn't know what was going on, but later Sara explained they were dating and he had planned to try and find me first and then propose when I was found. She wanted me at the wedding and he knew she wouldn't get married without her best friend, so he waited. And she told me to keep it quiet to the rest of the lab, because they didn't want everyone to know. A few days later she called me to say I was hired by the crime lab. I quit my job at Lady Heather's immediately and started working at the lab.

I don't know why I got to Las Vegas. Maybe I wanted to see a different city. Maybe I just wanted to go away. Maybe I didn't want to be seen by other people. Or maybe it's just fate. But I know it was a good choice. I like it here. If I could only tell someone that one thing that makes my life so difficult to handle.


End file.
